God's voice, redemption, "is that You, Lord?"

Hello there from Puerto Montt!
It is October 3rd, and it is kind of wild to think how far into our internship we are! We have just under 5 months left - we are over halfway done!
The first 5 months have been a blessing and a challenge. What exactly does being a missionary look like? Am i suffering for Christ? Am i rejoicing for Christ?
i want to walk in a deeper freedom...
i want to walk in a stronger power...
i struggle to be obedient and i struggle to crucify my flesh,
but all the more that Christ would be glorified

a short "teachable time" to share:
Towards the end of August, i really felt (~heard~) God telling me to fast on this one Monday. Like - i knew God wanted me to fast that day without a doubt, but everything in me had absolutely no desire to do so... perhaps i've become too comfortable being comfortable and so avoid anything that feels unpleasant - how very unChristlike of me. On top of that, friends were going to come over that evening for food and fellowship, so that was my excuse for not fasting - we'd be eating that evening. So, i was rebellious, and i didn't fast. I rebelled throughout the whole day, but then our friends ended up not coming that night anyway!
I have repented, and i've been forgiven, but i do think that there are consequences to rebellion and disobedience. I think in my case, 1. it made it easier to disobey, and 2. it made it harder to hear God's voice.

So, as Travis and i kept flip-flopping, trying to decide if we were to go back to the US for my grandpa's interment (is that the word?), we really wanted to know what God's will was and to make the right decision. We finally ended up deciding on not going as it just made a whole lot more sense not to go, and we both felt fine with the decision... we miss family and friends, but we really feel content and okay here. But then, the other Saturday night, as i was in bed praying, i felt like God said, "Go back to Chambersburg." I struggled all the next day and shared with Travis and we called our leaders Mike and Nancy to ask for their prayers, and after a while, i decided - yes, let's go back.
Well, then, we had LOTS AND LOTS of ticket problems, and they ended up getting cancelled, and here we are - still in Chile, with no plans to go back until the end of our term.

Did i hear God wrong?
i feel at peace
i don't think i heard God wrong
does that mean He changed His mind? does that mean His will got "thwarted?"
honestly, i think it means that maybe it never was His will for me to go back to Chambersburg, but He wanted to see if i'd obey
(even though it didn't make sense, and even though i had already "made up my mind")
Did God, the Most Holy One, who created life, really want Abraham to sacrifice his son as a burnt offering?
(Genesis 22) He wanted him to obey.
Perhaps, in my journey with the Lord, God knew i needed an opportunity to again hear His voice and choose OBEDIENCE this time, rather than rebellion. Perhaps it was God's way of restoring me to being in step with the Spirit, since i live by the Spirit. (Galatians 5:25)

That's what i love about God. We serve a redemptive God. It's the only way One can be perfectly Holy and perfectly Love - the incredible quality of redemption.

"A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?" Proverbs 20:24

Here comes the sun, do-do-do-do

Hello from a sunny Quemchi!!

Sunday was the first day in over a week that we saw sunlight, and it was so wonderful, though it didn´t last long. Yesterday, it was both sunny and rainy, and today - a beautiful sunny day all day long!!!

I think i am a lot more grateful to the Lord for sunlight now... it´s amazing some things you take for granted.

Yesterday, before we went to school for English class, i was praying and reading the beginning of James, and i realized that i had been relying on myself to do English classes. Maybe i wasn´t taking them seriously enough as a part of ministry, since it´s a public school and there´s a book the kids are working through, but i realized that i wasn´t really depending on God to teach the classes. I guess i figured i was pretty good at teaching and could just kind of ¨wing it,¨ and get it done. But reading James and the need to ask for wisdom when we lack it and the next to last verse in Hosea (our fruitfulness comes from the Lord) both struck me in conviction that i need to seek the Lord for His wisdom and guidance - not just when we meet with people in the evenings, but when we step into that classroom as well. If i want to see ANY kind of fruit, it comes from the Lord. If i want there to be success in the English classes, it comes from seeking the Lord, His wisdom, and His fruit-bearing touch.
So, it´s refocusing the English classes. How can i be God´s little seed-sower here?

So, we are starting to memorize Philipians 4:13 in Spanish and English with the 5th and 6th graders. I know that was a great encouragement to me in studying Spanish, and i hope that speaking God´s Word out in class and sharing about hope will be a blessing. We know that His Word will NOT return to Him void...

In unrelated news today Chile´s new soccer team just beat Austria 2-0. This is a very good team... i can hardly wait for the next world cup. I wonder if we´ll be back here in Chile? CHI CHI CHI LE LE LE ¡¡¡VIVA CHILE!!!

i promise to post pictures soon from our trip to Bariloche, Argentina to renew our visas...
it´s a bit difficult to do, but i´ll do my best... :o)

DAY 7

It´s been a very stormy Quemchi lately. We are in Day 7 of pure rain. Last week we had some nice days of sun. My poor little ¨Bear´s Ear¨ flowering plant is fading, though, for lack of sunlight.

We´ve been meeting with our friends Charly, Ana, Paulina, and Juan Carlos for Bible study. They really want to learn and are open and honest. It´s amazing how God built this friendship. We want to honor God with this relationship, though we at times feel too inexperienced to lead this searching family.
That´s why there´s grace, and that´s why there´s God´s Holy Presence.
Who are we but Christ´s servants and friends, co-laborers with our LORD?

Oh, that i will be faithful and bold.

July 26th

how easy to be a part of creation that doesn´t have to think and reason... like hawks. They do what they were created to do because that´s all they can do... and in this natural fulfilling Your Will, they are honoring, glorifying, and praising You.

i have to wonder... am i doing what You created me to do and thus fulfilling Your Will and thus honoring, glorifying, and praising you?

through on man (Adam), death came to mankind, and through one man Jesus, life came to mankind...

and it´s in this twilight zone that i struggle... in the flesh of death in the spirit of life,
wondering, battling, fighting,
struggling to know

are You pleased?

raining

So i´m here in Quemchi, listening to the hard rain... again. The rain pants, rain coat, and big rubber boots i bought before coming have definitely been one of the best physical investments i´ve made.
Last night we went over to Ana and Carlos´s (along with Paolina &her daughters and Juan Carlos) house for a food ¨pichanga,¨ i think it´s called, to watch the Under 20 WORLD CUP Chile vs. Argentina, see pictures from their vacation, and show pictures we took of Paolina´s daughter at her school winter show. It was raining... again. We had a really wonderful time with them, and i hope they are being blessed by the friendship we are forming. As i pray for this family, God is really giving me His love for them. They are really such neat people.
2 nights ago Maria (age 15) and Denis (age 13) came over to the cabaña to dance to my dance workout videos with me. (Travis stayed in the other room and studied.) Then, we all had a late dinner together, goofed off a little while longer, and the girls left. It had been raining the whole evening... again. During my time with these girls, the realization hit me - i´m old. As we were talking and it was getting later and later and later, i kept thinking, ¨These girls need to get home!! It´s a school night!!!¨ And just during different coversations about boys and dating and all that, i thought to myself, ¨wow... i´ve turned into a real fuddy-duddy...¨
But, then, as i was praying and thinking about my mentor Andie, well... she was kind of a fuddy-duddy sometimes, too. BUT, she impacted my life so so greatly that the fact that maybe she wasn´t COOL (what i thought of as ¨cool¨) all the time didn´t matter. She was the first person ever to have commissioned me in the Lord´s work. And so... maybe i am a fuddy-duddy, fome, at times to these girls, but i just pray that i would love them and guide them towards Christ as Andie loved and guided me. May these girls know and love God, and may i get to be a part of commissioning them.
lovingly

rainbows and redemption

There are so many illustrations of God’s redemptive nature here in the creation we’re surrounded by.

Obviously, there are the rainbows that we see frequently – out of storms comes something beautiful… God’s redemption.

And the weather always gives you something nice… if it is freezing outside, the sun is shining. If it is raining and storming, it’s a bit warmer… God’s redemption.

But even take something small and simple… oyster shells. On the outside, well – they’re just ugly and black and bumpy. But, on the INSIDE, they are iridescent polished beauty… God’s redemption.

Here, i am daily reminded in nature and in my own walk with the Lord, and can say as the psalmist said,

“with Him is abundant redemption!” (Ps. 130:7, NKJV)
amen

kneeling for Nayahue

Well, it’s been pretty frigid here lately. We’re grateful we have a small cabin to try to keep warm as opposed to a big, spacious house. To the right is a picture of our little wood stove.

We got back earlier this week from a week-long trip to the village of Nayahue on the island of Butachauques. Things didn’t go quite as

expected, although i’m not really sure just what expectations i had. We went to teach in the school and have English and Bible classes with the children there. Also, we were to meet and visit with people. We arrived Tuesday afternoon. We taught Wednesday and Thursday, but the children ended up not having school on Friday OR Monday. Friday i played with a couple of the girls. Saturday, we had a make-shift English and Bible class in a small little empty house by the soccer field with some of the children. Monday, a couple of the girls came over and we colored Bible coloring pages after talking about Jesus and who He is.

We didn’t meet and visit a whole lot of people. We tried to make ourselves available, but this time of year, people generally just stay inside their homes, so when walking around, we didn’t see many people.

It was a challenging week. There is no plumbing or shower or running water and there is no electricity. But these things are just a physical challenge, and i didn’t mind them too greatly. It was the spiritual challenge… it was not having much to do all day, and at night sitting and watching 4 hours of t.v. with the family (families all use generators to watch television). But, this shouldn’t be a spiritual challenge…
Travis and i processed when we got back home. We can point out all the different things that weren’t right or that made it a challenge to serve there, but ultimately, the issue was that we didn’t bathe it in prayer as we ought to have. Oh, we prayed before going. And we prayed every morning we were there,
But did we intercede?
Were our hearts burning for Nayahue and the people there?

Were our knees sore from kneeling?

We repented of this negligence and we are learning. Praise God for His grace and His renewed opportunities for all of us, His humble and weak children!

***
But we did enjoy our time with the believers there, and hopefully Tito and Sara will be coming to visit us and stay at our cabin for a couple days this month.
***

we live amidst God’s creation
everyday, we hear screaming hawks
and see cattle ripping, chewing, at the grass

it rains and rains
…
and rains
but we still get to enjoy the sun,
a little almost everyday

it hails regularly
and we delight in
the regular rainbows that make appearances

reminding us of God’s faithfulness

***
We’ve been meeting more people. Yesterday, we were invited into Ana and Carlos’s home for coffee and a snack and conversation and to meet their son Juan Carlos who is 14 and wants to become an English teacher. We met Ana and Carlos through buying food at their store. They were incredibly hospitable, and it’ll be neat to continue that relationship. Their daughter is 21; she drove us home and opened up about some struggles she is having.
Next week we’re going to start meeting with Ernan and Cristina for coffee & conversation time – Ernan wants to learn more English, and Travis wants to learn more Spanish, so it’ll be a time of trading languages and fun.
God’s really been opening up doors, and we get to walk through them. It’s been incredible. I know that missions work definitely has difficult times, but so far we’ve been really having a good time and it’s been enjoyable. We wake up in the mornings and spend the mornings praying together and having individual prayer and devotion times.
And it’s just like… i almost think, “yikes, once it gets hard, it’s going to be REALLY hard, ‘cuz right now things are just so nice!” Not that there aren’t difficulties – i miss my family a whole lot; as of right now there isn’t a way to call them from Quemchi (unless you pay an arm and a leg… figuratively, of course). It’s hard to come by dry wood which makes keeping a fire going to heat your cabin a bit of a challenge. But really…
i have felt so blessed here by the people. I came to be a blessing in Quemchi, and i’ve been receiving so many blessings.
That’s all for now.
Lovingly…

Quemchi

The above is me on Tito´s horse. Tito is one of 4 believers on the island of Butachauques. We stay with him and his wife Sara when we are there to visit the believers and teach in the school.

Hello dear friends from a very rainy and very gray Quemchi.

We are now settled into our cabana in Quemchi on the island of Chiloe. Wednesday was our first day of English class in the school. Wednesday we were with 6th graders. We had a good time. Afterwards, we talked some with the teacher who was extremely excited that we were there. She is a very neat lady. She was telling us, though, how she would love to learn English better. The wild thing is, she’s teaching English, but she has had to teach herself from books! I can’t imagine how hard that would be! She has been teaching for 34 years in this school.
Thursday we were with 8th graders. Both teachers, Teresa and Marcia, with whom we’re working are very positive women who care about their students. It will be a blessing to work alongside them these next few months. We invited Teresa up to our home for dinner or coffee and she also invited us to her home; she is only available over the week-long vacation the end of this month though. The school is trying to get a whole school year crammed into less months because of construction and a new school, so the days are a bit longer, and they have classes on Saturday, too. On top of that, many of the teachers come from the city of Castro everyday, which is an hour and a half drive each way! So, as you can imagine, they are all a bit overwhelmed right now.

We are getting familiar with the town and starting to meet people.

We know God is here in Quemchi, and we are keeping our eyes open to see just what all He’s up to here.

Time to put on my rain gear and tromp on down the hillside to the internet café!

(P.S. We have discovered how out-of-shape we are… the return trip from downtown is all straight uphill, and we have yet to make it up without panting.)

the great rejoicing

I would love to share about our 3 day trip to the island of Butachauques, but we had such an incredible experience tonight, that i'll save the Island Narrative for another time.
Tonight we went to Ricardo and Eleana's house for small group. While we were opening up in prayer, their neighbors Carlos and Carolina came. Ricardo and Eleana have been sharing with them and inviting them to small group - last week they came to the marriage seminar the church held. They're a young couple with a little 2 year old daughter. Well, after the Bible study and time of sharing, we shared prayer requests and prayed for one another and also prayed for and over Carolina and Carlos, their family and work and everything the Spirit led us. God's Holy Presence really started moving in all of our hearts and their hearts, too, during this time. It was just so powerful; they shared some more of how they were feeling and what God was really stirring in them and they wanted to make the decision to confess Jesus as their Savior. Eleana led Carolina in praying; then, Carlos spoke some more and Mike led him in praying. It was just so powerful, and we prayed for them more, and it was just... INCREDIBLE!! It was amazing to get to be present when my brother and sister were adopted into the family. I was so blessed to be there, and i continue to be wowed by it. At one point during the evening i really realized "Wow, i am in the presence of Holiness right now," and there aren't words to describe that. And then thinking of the celebration in Heaven! Wow!
God's love and holiness met perfectly on the cross, and death was made unvictorious when Jesus came back to life, and well...
here we are
humbly accepting the bounty
of ourselves being captured
made servants and friends
to the One with love enraptured
and we fall for the One who owns us
not fearing a great demise
for in knowledge of His love for us
we are seeking to be wise

Puerto Montt & Quemchi and little sheep

Hello from chilly Chile! It's been pretty cold the past few days, as we've woken up to frosted rooftops and grass, but it's incredible to see beautiful snow-capped mountains!!

We are currently in Puerto Montt on the mainland with our team and the church here. It's been a good time of getting to know our teammates (who are VERY fun and good people) and getting involved with the church here, visiting with members and attending small groups. Last week on Wednesday we went on a day-trip to the island of Chiloe to meet different believers and to get to know our town/home of Quemchi. We met with the mayor of the town, the director of education in the school where we'll be teaching, and the teacher we'll be working with. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better. She also mentioned that she teaches religion classes, and that we could come share about "our religion," in addition to English classes. So, that was a wild open door! While walking around the town, we met up with the director of education for all of the little islands. We will be spending part of our time travelling to the islands to teach English there as well.

Saturday the church held a marriage seminar and we were responsible for a "creative workshop" with the kids. It was wild and chaotic but also a lot of fun. I led a short devotional on how God is creative and He gave us creativity too that we can use to worship Him. We sang songs and we did a lot of movement, pretending, and dancing. Then, we prepared a skit on the parable of the 99 sheep and 1 lost sheep. Sunday morning the kids did it in church, and it was just a lot of fun getting to be a part of that.

Tomorrow we leave for a 3 day trip into the islands to get to know the schools where we'll be teaching and meeting people out there. It sounds good... and cold. We are taking sleeping bags and hiker's backpacks - honestly, i think the hiker backpack is as large as me - haha.

On Sunday after church we leave for Quemchi to move into our little cabana. It's both exciting and intimidating!

Sorry it's not a super-interesting blog entry, but i thought i'd write the latest! More to come later!

soccer, gangs, Light and darkness

Today, we took our host brother Julian to see ~our~ soccer team SAPRISSA, and there were some pretty good goals. SAPRISSA totally beat the other team 6-1, which is almost a ridiculous score in soccer, but it was fun, and i screamed a lot. I think Julian was surprised at just how enthused i get, but boy! i love soccer!

Anyway, we had a good time until the shuttle ride back from the stadium to downtown. We were in the very back of the bus. I was sitting next to a family with some young children, and Travis and Julian were standing right in front of us since there weren't any seats left. Pretty much as soon as the bus started, the trouble did as well. A group of guys had pushed themselves into the back around us and were trying to force open the back door of the bus, which was automated. One of their "buddies" was trying to get on the bus from the back door. They managed to pry it open but then to keep it from closing again, one of the guys pushed really hard on the glass which ended up shattering. The mother of the family (who by this point had enough [along with the rest of us] of the trouble-making as it was starting to get serious) yelled at them to be careful as there were children back there. I could not see too much of what was going on because i was in the back corner, but the parents next to me could see, and i could see the faces of some who saw what was happening. At one point when it was starting to get fearful, i saw the father slowly take off his watch and bend down ever so slowly to tuck it into his sock. What happened next happened right in front of Travis and Julian. One of the guys, who appeared to be somewhat the leader, moved back through the group and around behind a man sitting in the next to last seats. He put him in a sleeper hold until the guy passed out onto the bus floor, then the gang quickly robbed his shoes, his watch and his wallet. He came to (thankfully) and managed to get off the back of the bus - the gang members kind of helped push him off. The mother had since yelled loudly to the bus driver to stop; somehow, praise the Lord, the family managed to get off. Travis called me loudly and reached back and grabbed my hand, and Julian, Travis, and i pushed our way towards the front. It still wasn't safe feeling, though, because the whole back of the bus was taken up by the gang which showed off the watch they pilfered (as they all laughed) and looked through the wallet. The one guy stood up on a seat and marked their gang sign on the bus roof with a highlighter, and when he stepped down a knife fell out of his pocket (again they all kind of "oohed" and laughed). I don't know if the bus driver had somehow radioed to the police or what, but a police car did end up finding our bus and escorting us to the stop. We got off and made our way downtown.

There were no consequences, though, as we saw the group and the leader all hanging around just 2 blocks later.

Why am i writing about this experience? First, it was pretty frightening. Second, it really makes you think about sin in this world when you are confronted so aggressively by it. The one boy that i saw who was part of this group couldn't have been more than 11, maybe 12. Julian saw the 2 girls with this gang, who were maybe 13 or 14, drinking alcohol on the bus. And it just really disturbs your spirit. It disturbed our spirits as believers because it was darkness, and when you know Light, well... darkness is just... it makes you sad, but sad is not near a strong enough word, that people are in such darkness, are so lost.

And this is the universal society of darkness... there is no true joy, only mockery. There is no beautiful reflection of the One whose Image we were created in, only dirty faces of human sin. And there is no pure love, only a gang-mentality of loyalty and security in violence.
And it's this society of darkness that Jesus stepped into and said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." (Jn 8:12) And it is to this very same society of darkness to which Jesus commissions us, saying that we are the light of the world, and that we must let our light shine before men that they will see our good deeds and praise our Father in heaven. (Mt 5:14-16)

Something that brought a little encouragement to me was while walking downtown after the bus incident, we ran into a guy named Ronny that my friend Mandy and i had met last week. He's from Los Angeles, and had been robbed. Mandy and i gave him our McDonald's meal we had just bought and had the opportunity to pray for him. He said he was sure his mom must be praying for him at that moment, because she's a believer, too, and always asks him, "Are you saved yet?" We got to share a little bit and challenge him to think about why he isn't yet. Seeing him again and introducing him to Travis and Julian was neat - he seemed glad to see me again, and when we continued on our way and i said, "God bless you," he returned with "God bless you, too." I don't know if he's a believer yet, but i continue to pray for him, and it was just a piece of Light in the day after being in the presence of darkness.

We pray that these gang members would come to know the Creator God and the love He has for them and the salvation He offers. amen.

"Follow Me." where? when? give me a sec

Another sunny beautiful day here in Costa Rica!
Friday we got the chance to talk to my brother Mark for a while through Skype, and that was wonderful, though afterwards i was feeling a bit sad.

This time, more than any other missions terms i've been on, has been a real eye-opener in regards to an aspect of mission work i hadn't acknowledged before. Maybe it's because i'm a little older than before and i've grown a lot closer to my family, but it is here in Costa Rica that i realize what following the Lord into the mission field costs - it costs leaving family and friends, and it costs missing watching my nieces grow and develop.

The thing is - i know that this is God's will for my life, and so the cost isn't too much...
but it is a lot, and it's good that i'm learning that...
In Luke's account of Jesus asking people to follow him (9:57-62), he reminds them of the cost - it almost seems like he's discouraging them from following him, but i think it was more that he wanted followers to know and accept how discipleship will affect their lives. The part that speaks to me is verse 61-62, "Still another said, 'I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-bye to my family.' Jesus replied, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.' "

Why? Well, 'cuz if i'm plowing and i look backwards over my shoulder as i plod along, i'm not going to plow in a straight line - i'm not looking where i'm going.
And i have had enough incidents running into doorframes and chairs, etc. to teach me to watch where i'm going.

So, that's all for now, but that's what i'm learning. And i'm glad and grateful.
And i rejoice that God never calls us to anything He's not already doing, and He never calls us anywhere that He is not there already!

What a beautiful Leader to follow.

what's stripey and roars a lot?

Sometimes i think that language school should be all day long, and sometimes i think if it lasts more than 1 hour, it's too long. So far i think the favorite thing i've learned is the expression:

"El hijo de tigre sale pintado."

Literally translated, it means the tiger's child comes out painted. Basically, it means child will be like its parent... and it has more to do with the child's personality and habits than appearance.

First, i like it, because... well, who doesn't like tigers?
Second, i like it, because it kind of reminds me of how i should "come out" painted as my Father is. Is it obvious i'm the child of a tiger? Okay, what i mean is: is it apparent, when people look at me, just who my Father is?

I think this expression says in a slang-sorta way what Jesus was saying when he talked about only saying what he heard his Father saying and doing exactly what his Father commanded.

So... i hope i start growing stripes... rrrrrrroar.

1st post

Well, here is my first post... boy, i'm nervous! What am i going to say?

The other day in my language class, our teacher told us a joke (of course, it was in Spanish), but i got a kick out of it, so here it goes:

The teenage gnat said to her mother, "Mom, can i please please PLEASE go to this awesome concert with my friends?"
And the mom replied, "Oh... alright. But watch out for applause!"

haha

So, i'm keeping this a short post to see how it goes and if anybody is interested.

bekii :o)