God's voice, redemption, "is that You, Lord?"

Hello there from Puerto Montt!
It is October 3rd, and it is kind of wild to think how far into our internship we are! We have just under 5 months left - we are over halfway done!
The first 5 months have been a blessing and a challenge. What exactly does being a missionary look like? Am i suffering for Christ? Am i rejoicing for Christ?
i want to walk in a deeper freedom...
i want to walk in a stronger power...
i struggle to be obedient and i struggle to crucify my flesh,
but all the more that Christ would be glorified

a short "teachable time" to share:
Towards the end of August, i really felt (~heard~) God telling me to fast on this one Monday. Like - i knew God wanted me to fast that day without a doubt, but everything in me had absolutely no desire to do so... perhaps i've become too comfortable being comfortable and so avoid anything that feels unpleasant - how very unChristlike of me. On top of that, friends were going to come over that evening for food and fellowship, so that was my excuse for not fasting - we'd be eating that evening. So, i was rebellious, and i didn't fast. I rebelled throughout the whole day, but then our friends ended up not coming that night anyway!
I have repented, and i've been forgiven, but i do think that there are consequences to rebellion and disobedience. I think in my case, 1. it made it easier to disobey, and 2. it made it harder to hear God's voice.

So, as Travis and i kept flip-flopping, trying to decide if we were to go back to the US for my grandpa's interment (is that the word?), we really wanted to know what God's will was and to make the right decision. We finally ended up deciding on not going as it just made a whole lot more sense not to go, and we both felt fine with the decision... we miss family and friends, but we really feel content and okay here. But then, the other Saturday night, as i was in bed praying, i felt like God said, "Go back to Chambersburg." I struggled all the next day and shared with Travis and we called our leaders Mike and Nancy to ask for their prayers, and after a while, i decided - yes, let's go back.
Well, then, we had LOTS AND LOTS of ticket problems, and they ended up getting cancelled, and here we are - still in Chile, with no plans to go back until the end of our term.

Did i hear God wrong?
i feel at peace
i don't think i heard God wrong
does that mean He changed His mind? does that mean His will got "thwarted?"
honestly, i think it means that maybe it never was His will for me to go back to Chambersburg, but He wanted to see if i'd obey
(even though it didn't make sense, and even though i had already "made up my mind")
Did God, the Most Holy One, who created life, really want Abraham to sacrifice his son as a burnt offering?
(Genesis 22) He wanted him to obey.
Perhaps, in my journey with the Lord, God knew i needed an opportunity to again hear His voice and choose OBEDIENCE this time, rather than rebellion. Perhaps it was God's way of restoring me to being in step with the Spirit, since i live by the Spirit. (Galatians 5:25)

That's what i love about God. We serve a redemptive God. It's the only way One can be perfectly Holy and perfectly Love - the incredible quality of redemption.

"A man's steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?" Proverbs 20:24

Here comes the sun, do-do-do-do

Hello from a sunny Quemchi!!

Sunday was the first day in over a week that we saw sunlight, and it was so wonderful, though it didn´t last long. Yesterday, it was both sunny and rainy, and today - a beautiful sunny day all day long!!!

I think i am a lot more grateful to the Lord for sunlight now... it´s amazing some things you take for granted.

Yesterday, before we went to school for English class, i was praying and reading the beginning of James, and i realized that i had been relying on myself to do English classes. Maybe i wasn´t taking them seriously enough as a part of ministry, since it´s a public school and there´s a book the kids are working through, but i realized that i wasn´t really depending on God to teach the classes. I guess i figured i was pretty good at teaching and could just kind of ¨wing it,¨ and get it done. But reading James and the need to ask for wisdom when we lack it and the next to last verse in Hosea (our fruitfulness comes from the Lord) both struck me in conviction that i need to seek the Lord for His wisdom and guidance - not just when we meet with people in the evenings, but when we step into that classroom as well. If i want to see ANY kind of fruit, it comes from the Lord. If i want there to be success in the English classes, it comes from seeking the Lord, His wisdom, and His fruit-bearing touch.
So, it´s refocusing the English classes. How can i be God´s little seed-sower here?

So, we are starting to memorize Philipians 4:13 in Spanish and English with the 5th and 6th graders. I know that was a great encouragement to me in studying Spanish, and i hope that speaking God´s Word out in class and sharing about hope will be a blessing. We know that His Word will NOT return to Him void...

In unrelated news today Chile´s new soccer team just beat Austria 2-0. This is a very good team... i can hardly wait for the next world cup. I wonder if we´ll be back here in Chile? CHI CHI CHI LE LE LE ¡¡¡VIVA CHILE!!!

i promise to post pictures soon from our trip to Bariloche, Argentina to renew our visas...
it´s a bit difficult to do, but i´ll do my best... :o)

DAY 7

It´s been a very stormy Quemchi lately. We are in Day 7 of pure rain. Last week we had some nice days of sun. My poor little ¨Bear´s Ear¨ flowering plant is fading, though, for lack of sunlight.

We´ve been meeting with our friends Charly, Ana, Paulina, and Juan Carlos for Bible study. They really want to learn and are open and honest. It´s amazing how God built this friendship. We want to honor God with this relationship, though we at times feel too inexperienced to lead this searching family.
That´s why there´s grace, and that´s why there´s God´s Holy Presence.
Who are we but Christ´s servants and friends, co-laborers with our LORD?

Oh, that i will be faithful and bold.

July 26th

how easy to be a part of creation that doesn´t have to think and reason... like hawks. They do what they were created to do because that´s all they can do... and in this natural fulfilling Your Will, they are honoring, glorifying, and praising You.

i have to wonder... am i doing what You created me to do and thus fulfilling Your Will and thus honoring, glorifying, and praising you?

through on man (Adam), death came to mankind, and through one man Jesus, life came to mankind...

and it´s in this twilight zone that i struggle... in the flesh of death in the spirit of life,
wondering, battling, fighting,
struggling to know

are You pleased?

raining

So i´m here in Quemchi, listening to the hard rain... again. The rain pants, rain coat, and big rubber boots i bought before coming have definitely been one of the best physical investments i´ve made.
Last night we went over to Ana and Carlos´s (along with Paolina &her daughters and Juan Carlos) house for a food ¨pichanga,¨ i think it´s called, to watch the Under 20 WORLD CUP Chile vs. Argentina, see pictures from their vacation, and show pictures we took of Paolina´s daughter at her school winter show. It was raining... again. We had a really wonderful time with them, and i hope they are being blessed by the friendship we are forming. As i pray for this family, God is really giving me His love for them. They are really such neat people.
2 nights ago Maria (age 15) and Denis (age 13) came over to the cabaña to dance to my dance workout videos with me. (Travis stayed in the other room and studied.) Then, we all had a late dinner together, goofed off a little while longer, and the girls left. It had been raining the whole evening... again. During my time with these girls, the realization hit me - i´m old. As we were talking and it was getting later and later and later, i kept thinking, ¨These girls need to get home!! It´s a school night!!!¨ And just during different coversations about boys and dating and all that, i thought to myself, ¨wow... i´ve turned into a real fuddy-duddy...¨
But, then, as i was praying and thinking about my mentor Andie, well... she was kind of a fuddy-duddy sometimes, too. BUT, she impacted my life so so greatly that the fact that maybe she wasn´t COOL (what i thought of as ¨cool¨) all the time didn´t matter. She was the first person ever to have commissioned me in the Lord´s work. And so... maybe i am a fuddy-duddy, fome, at times to these girls, but i just pray that i would love them and guide them towards Christ as Andie loved and guided me. May these girls know and love God, and may i get to be a part of commissioning them.
lovingly

rainbows and redemption

There are so many illustrations of God’s redemptive nature here in the creation we’re surrounded by.

Obviously, there are the rainbows that we see frequently – out of storms comes something beautiful… God’s redemption.

And the weather always gives you something nice… if it is freezing outside, the sun is shining. If it is raining and storming, it’s a bit warmer… God’s redemption.

But even take something small and simple… oyster shells. On the outside, well – they’re just ugly and black and bumpy. But, on the INSIDE, they are iridescent polished beauty… God’s redemption.

Here, i am daily reminded in nature and in my own walk with the Lord, and can say as the psalmist said,

“with Him is abundant redemption!” (Ps. 130:7, NKJV)
amen